General Update, Personal

Haven’t Been Around For A While

I haven’t been around for a while. Sorry.

The last month or so I’ve been taking care of Dad, which is hard for a lot of reasons. The biggest being he’s in the far south of the city and I’m downtown and it’s 25 minutes from his place to mine by car. 90-120 by bus if I make all my connections just right.

It hasn’t been easy.

But also neither of my sister has popped their heads up or offered to help either. They both know he’s struggling. He’s mentioned it to them both. Neither has bothered to offer to help though. Because why would they? They took the free rent and free education and free access to a car and easy access to pocket money until they were nearly 30 (or over 30) and now they’re just waiting for him to die.

I actually had the guts to remind him of that a couple weeks ago. I was helping him with his back and helping him with his shopping, and we were in the van heading back to his and he said that he could always ask my sisters for help if I “wasn’t up to it”, and I actually reminded him that both my sisters, at multiple times over the years each, have told him and anyone else who would listen that the second he can’t take care of himself anymore they’re putting him in a home.

“Well, a home is expensive,” he retorted.
“Yeah. I know. But you’ve also put my share of the estate in Anne’s hands, so Anne just inherited 2/3. They’ll use my third to pay for the cheapest home they can find and keep their shares of the estate intact. So don’t tell them how you’re doing. For your own sake. Please.”

I actually said that. Out loud. That is something I’ve said to Dr P, Dr W, and my Godparents all, but I always follow it up with, “And that’s something you think and don’t say. Because it’s Dad.”

But I actually said it out loud.
Still kind of in shock about that to be honest

Not that I think he’ll do anything to fix that. Which means the first thing I’m going to have to do after he passes is take my sister to court to rest control away from her. Not looking forward to that.

But I said the words. *deep breath*


I’ve spent the last month (or really the last 3 1/2 months if we’re going to be perfectly honest) taking care of Dad. Seeing him a minimum of twice a week. Calling him twice a day (at his request). Making sure he eats. Making sure he’s exercising as best he can. Making sure he’s drinking his water. He’s even having me go with him to Doctor’s appointments now.

*long sigh*

It leaves very little space/time for me to take care of myself. I haven’t shot a number of videos I really need to and am very behind on. I have three or four blog posts half-written in my head that I haven’t had the mental time and space to sit down and write.

Sorry. I’m trying.
This week I don’t have anything really until Wednesday. Save calling Dad morning and night to check in on him. Which always take about an hour or so to come back from. Doesn’t leave a lot of mental time/space to get much else done. But I’m going to try. It’s April, which means Autism Awareness Acceptance month, and I am very behind on both posts here and videos over at the YouTube channel. So I’m going to try and spend the next couple days catching up on those.

And thanks for understanding (at least I hope you do).
*tired smile*

2 thoughts on “Haven’t Been Around For A While”

  1. Hugs. Disability Legal Rights Councils in the U.S. can be rather…narrow…in the issues they care about. But, your case with your sister seems one they might be interested in representing just because the less money you get in inheritance the more likely you are to stay on benefits. I’m not sure what the equivalents are in other countries, but a denial of inheritance case in general to someone on public benefits is oft one of the only things that rouses the legal aid. If the system thinks it can save even a dollar, they care, but they don’t lift a finger when they mess up. Still, if it helps, maybe look into it now before things come to a head. You might be able to obtain free legal aid to fight your sister, if you start prep early. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My hope is that he’ll realize I’m more than capable to take care of my own finances – Autism or no and really why would Autism make me less capable – and change his will. That’s the hope. Even if he were to change it so that anything went into my RDSP and I couldn’t touch it until I was of retirement age. That would be amazing.
      The province would definitely want me off benefits. And there’s no saying I’ll even still BE on benefits when he passes. *sigh* So I know he did it to try and “protect me” and in his own ableist way he was trying to look out for me, but like I’ve said he basically just gave my sister 2/3. 😕


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