Today is my down day.
Like, an actual down day. My first since last session.
Eight days ago.
A day where I’m not worried about rent. I’m not worried about food. I’m not worried about Dad’s health, or waiting for a call from Dad, or going over to help him, or prepping myself to go over and help him. A day where I don’t have any Doctors appointments, or meetings. A day when I can just be with myself (and the cats of course) and be quiet and calm and low stress and do some mental healing until I have to go out again.
I know that usually I do that over the weekend after session, but Dad’s immune system decided to go haywire and he’s needed me to help him just keep it under control. I feel so bad for him (yes I know that’s horrible English, but I’m sticking with it for impact so *raspberry*). His back looked like he had scales the hives and subsequent scabbing over was so bad. I’ve been telling him for over a month to GO TO HIS DOCTOR. Not a walk-in. His GP. And he finally did. And got a course of Prednisone. And then a second because the first didn’t work completely. And I also had to unclog his upstairs bathtub for him.
And yeah. I haven’t had time to take to just mentally take a step back and process everything until today.
*deep breath and long sigh*
I’m not just lazing about though. Because I’m not the type to do that (c’mon, this is me we’re talking about). So I’ve also taken down the dirty cat litter, and the kitchen trash, and I’m doing two loads of laundry right now (they’re in the dryer atm). And once this post is written I have to do the dishes too. So I’m not being lazy, but the quiet is good for me.
Time to find centre again.
Time to process instead of just react and survive.
I have until Sunday when I see Dad again. He wants to play some cribbage, and I am up for that. But between now and then, I am taking some down time. Repairing instead of preparing. Resetting. Processing.
It’s very overdue.